I wish I had a girl I could lust for like Swaggy P lusts for Iggy Azalea
Ate pussy so good I almost drown. What a wonderful way to die.
I love when decisions are made without my input on matters that 100% require my input.
Guys I am living the sexy drug dealer fantasy right now. It’s awesome.
I think I drank to much: a memoir by my liver.
So you’re talking to a girl on tinder. You don’t even want to get laid, you just want to hang out with a cute girl. You inform her of this and ask her out for a drink. Suddenly she stops talking all together. But she’ll like the moment you shares of the beer she should have been having with you. What the hell, man?
Nights like tonight make me miss Mother Superior. Which is sad because I have only been away for two days.